Do Looks and Money Really Matter?

Friday, January 8th, 2010No Commented
Categorized Under: Dating Manual Author Articles

This is an excellent article I came across while reading RSDnation. That’s a sick resource, and I recommend it for all of you. The article talks about Brad’s perspective on the age old question of looks and money when it comes to dating:

As a moderator on the RSDNation forum, I am constantly deleting threads with some variation of “I know looks matter!”

Now, I think it could be a worthwhile debate, but history proves the opposite. It just turns into heated nonsense, and RSD Headquarters and the moderation team have decided that it is just better to delete any of the looks discussion threads before they inevitably get out of hand.

Now, since I have my own little platform here, I’ll give you my viewpoint. And there is nothing you can do about it. Hehe.

The big problem that guys have with this whole looks/money/success concept is that they aren’t even asking a proper question.

Do looks matter?

For WHAT?!

Do looks matter for kissing a girl? For taking a shit? For making it rain?

Ask a proper question and things change a bit.

The question that I think most guys want to know is:

Do looks and/or money matter for building female ATTRACTION?

Alright, that changes things a little bit.

And on the most fundamental level, on par with the Blueprint, the answer is

NO!!!!

But looks/money convey certain qualities about a guy that are attractive to a girl. And that, from a superficial level confuses guys.

How do looks and money come into play when building female attraction?

Well first we need to rehash what causes attraction.

VALUE!!!

Again, so the more high value you are, the more attractive you will be.

And again, women value things differently than men.

Men value how a girl looks, girls value ACTION! A MAN OF ACTION! ALPHA! LEADER! CONFIDENCE! DOMINANCE! GRAWRRR!!!

The high value guy is the one taking action, he is the natural leader, not afraid to make a mistake, not giving a fuck what others think of him and getting shit done.

So lets look a little more intensely into this man of action thingy.

How do looks and money convey that you are a man of action?

As much as a girl appreciates security, and a man who can provide for her, that is not the primary reason she may respond more positively to a guy that has money.

It is the fact that he is successful, that is why she is attracted to him. This presupposes that he is a man of action, in whatever arena of his life.

If he takes action in his career, he will probably be just as successful at being a husband, a father, a friend, whatever is necessary.

This applies to the looks debate as well. It is not so much that she sees you wearing a nice shirt and is like, “Oooh, he looks hot.” She sees that you can afford nice clothes, meaning you aren’t just sitting on your ass and cleaning up garbage for a living.

With that, another reason why looks can affect the female’s perspective of you is if you are overweight. If she only has your physical appearance to determine if you are a high value leader of men/man of action, who would look more like that guy? A fat guy, or a ripped dude with the six pack abs?

Well it’s pretty obvious that in this very superficial attribute, the ripped dude is taking action in the gym, and the fat dude is not. And hey, if that is all the girl initially has to work off of, of course it is going to be easier for the ripped dude to build that attraction with her

But guys see these sort of scenarios in the field and they use blanket statements like “Ripped dudes get all the girls! HAHA! I just know it!!”

And that just isn’t the case. I’ve literally proved it to myself by going out, not showering for 2-3 days and growing out my mustache to see if I can still have success pulling girls.

And I have.

I’ve been on program with Alex~ where he wore the same shirt 4 days in a row and was still pulling crazy ass even though he looked pretty haggard. ;)

You can EASILY overpower these hindrances, a guy that eats cheetos all day and watches t.v. can go out and pickup the hottest girl in the club.

But this leads to the discussion that Ryan talks about in one of his articles about cognitive dissonance.

Does it really make sense to be the guy that is lazy all day and then get out to the club and be all “Yeah dude, I’m a high value man of action! If a girl enters my life, she is WINNING!”?

If you are delusional, or just hit up the clubs enough you can overpower those internal self doubts, but don’t think they go away.

It really just doesn’t make sense. The whole reason why women are drawn to confidence is because in the caveman days it was a sign that you had something going on for you, there was something tangible to back it up.

Now we have realized, through all this nerd work and going out for countless hours that you don’t need to be a CEO with all the money in the world, or the good looking dude, but why stack the cards against yourself?

Build a well rounded life, work hard, play hard, hit the gym hard… They all go hand in hand towards being congruent with the whole confidence/self-esteem gig.

And take care of yourself when you hit the club. If you see me out in a club, I’m probably going to be wearing some rock star black shirt and a chunky watch of sorts.

Do I think it directly gets me girls? No. But it does convey that I take care of myself, that I am not just some slob who throws on whatever. And it shows that I can afford a cool watch or something, which shows I probably am doing well in my career too. It’s also good for the little self-esteem boost that Tyler talks about in the Blueprint, you just feel damn good wearing some new sweet gear.

But I know that is for myself, not for the girl.

I agree with this for the most part. It definitely applies 100% if you’re at a stage of your life where you’re dating, and not necessarily “looking for someone to marry”. Many women that I’ve talked to will look at a dudes financial stability before they marry him no matter how good his game is. But if you’re just going out to clubs to get laid the above article is applicable 100% WOO!

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