Don’t Let a Facebook Date Destroy Your Game

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009No Commented
Categorized Under: Dating Manual Author Articles

By Vlad D:

There’s a lot of things to consider when it comes to any facebook date. For beginner game, here are my top 3 reasons why you shouldn’t add a girl on facebook/myspace before you’re having regular sex.

1.) Putting the girl on a pedestal. Facebook is really good at this since you have access to all her pics. That was the worst for me personally. I’d look at the modeling pics that a girl would have and say stuff like, “damn, look at that bubble butt”. I’d actually psyche myself out of getting together with the girl because complexes about how high value she was. This is mostly fundamental-level game related because if you’re 100% confident, and realistically see yourself as a high value male, seeing the girl’s hot pics will just inspire you to hook up with her. Since we’re not all at that level when we start out dating, its a good idea to avoid setting yourself up as the ‘distant observer’. Down the road though, make sure that the her pics make you think of how much you want to hook up with the girl, rather than focusing on a perceived difference in social value. This is a rookie mistake that I’ve made a bunch of ties when it comes to facebook dates.

2.) Facebook Date Jealousy issues. If its a hot girl she will have other dudes posting on her wall, and messaging her. That’s a given. What you now have to do (if you’re trying to have sex with her), is ignore all those messages, and not let them bother you. Say you’ve already had a passionate make-out with her on Monday thanks to the tips found in How to Become an Alpha Male. On Tuesday you happen to see some dude messaging her asking her to hang out on the weekend. You don’t know if they’re friends, if he’s trying to hook up with her, if they’re ex-fuck buddies, etc. In your mind this can already plant the seed for a trust issue down the road. Also, she might get jealous from reading messages she sees on your wall. One more note here. Being indifferent to her can be a great tool in your game. Getting emotionally involved via jealousy makes indifference difficult (in this case indifference means not letting her emotional state or her actions dictate how you feel).

3.) She can see your perceived e-social status. This is not a huge concern, but if the girl is shallow it’ll make a difference. If she knows you’re cool in person, that should be enough to hook up with her. Its possible that shes looking at your facebook as a way for you to socially qualify yourself to her. To see if you’ve taken enough cool pics in cool places to hang out with her. Lame, yes.. but there’s some really shallow women out there in the world of the facebook date.

As you can see, some of these issues may be present even after you are having sex with the girl. That’s why I try to avoid adding girls that I’m seeing altogether. Now onto another common facebook date scenario:

Okay, so you’ve added a girl, or she added you. You don’t want to delete her, but how do you avoid the above issues?

When it comes to facebook dates, don’t look at her wall messages at all. They don’t exist. In fact, I’d recommend sending private messages. That way you can say stuff without worrying that she’ll respond in a socially acceptable way. Next, don’t look at her photos. Sure if she went to the Galapagos, and has some sick pictures that would be interesting you can look at them.

The key is to see them for what they are objectively, rather than making you think that the girl is more high value than you. Its like you’re appreciating her beauty, but you’re keeping it in check, knowing that you can hook up with her. This balance is easiest to achieve if you don’t look at her pics altogether. Also, seeing some dudes that she was hanging out with can cause jealousy to arise. That’s never a good thing.

Next pimp your own profile to showcase the best you. Remove the pics that don’t look good, remove personal info (for privacy/identity theft reasons), and keep it short and sweet. I went from having 300+ pictures, to keeping the best 90. Also removed any information that I wouldn’t want everyone out there to know about. Be careful with family names (esp. your mothers maiden name which most credit cards in the US use to confirm your identity).

By the way, I used facebook in the dating manual examples above because it is way more popular where I currently live, but the same principles can be applied to myspace, or whatever else social networking site you use.

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