How to get back with your ex girlfriend tip #1: Stay strong as a man. This means that you should not call her, text her, write her long winded handwritten notes sent by pigeon, etc. You can have your grieving process, but don’t leave your grieving on her answering machine. What I’m saying is you need to move on with your life as a man. There’s nothing more unattractive than having a man emotionally crushed, and doing everything to get a woman’s attention. That reeks of desperation, and it has never worked well. Stop the neediness. Leave that shit for the other 90% of the male population that have trouble getting laid.

How to get back with your ex girlfriend tip #2: Examine the breakup. Who broke up with who? What was the reason for the breakup. If you broke up with the girl because of her character flaw (i.e. she leaves the toilet seat down in your house), then you need to realize that you will not be able to change her. If you don’t like the girl’s personality, you’re SOL (that stands for “shit out of luck” for my foreign readers), so just go find another girl. If you broke up because of a specific situation that arose, then you might be in the clear—a second chance might still work out.

How to get back with your ex girlfriend tip #3: Move on with life, and work on yourself as a person. This is key right here. You need to work on yourself, and become a stronger, better person. Don’t think of this as being something you’re doing to get back with your ex girlfriend. Think of it as something you’re doing for yourself. Girls love guys that are driven, motivated, and self-starters (don’t believe me? Look at who the hottest chicks are dating). Shit’s like catnip for chicks, for real.

Point being, no girl wants to go back to the same dude that eats nachos on the couch and plays Metal Gear Solid 2 all day. That’s why this breakup is a blessing in disguise. It can be the one thing that lights a fire under your ass to get your shit together. I know I’ve been emotionally crushed after breakups a bunch. And instead of letting them beat me up; I used that emotional void in my soul to drive me to success.

How to get back with your ex girlfriend tip #4: Don’t rely on her logic. NEVER try to convince girls or women on a logical basis. Why? Because emotions are EVERYTHING for women. If you want her back, you’ll have to get her emotions in the right spot. The best way to do this is not by being a passive-aggressive manipulative asshole. But rather, as I pointed above, by getting your shit together and letting her see that. That is when you contact her via facebook, text, phone, whatever, and get a chance at having her back. Only after you’ve done the above. This will maximize your chances of getting back together & maintaining a healthy relationship.

Which brings me to How to get back with your ex girlfriend conclusion. As you can see on the above, much of getting your ex back is out of your hands. The best strategy that has worked for me is:

1)      Show her that you can live without her. In fact, you improve yourself a lot after the separation.

2)      Make sure to do the above, and not EVER think of the breakup as, “I’m not good enough so I’ll work on myself”. That is the wrong thinking pattern to have. Think of it more along the lines of, “We’re broken up, ok. I think I’d enjoy life more if I dedicated myself to becoming a better man. Time to do that”. That is the most attractive thing you can do.

Go back home to Best Dating Manual from “How to get back with your ex girlfriend”

First, I’d like to say that money and looks can help, but I’m broke, and I drive a beat up 95′ civic. Its irrelevant to success with women. Your vibe is the most important thing that you have. It is your #1 asset. I can BS you and tell you that I’m not insecure right now, but that’s simply not true. I still feel down sometimes, but it is usually when I’m inside the house or in front of the computer. When I head outside I get in a zone and any insecure thoughts vanish. This is attributed to getting WAY outside of my comfort zone on a regular basis. Getting WAY outside of your comfort zone is the first step to attracting a beautiful woman.

So heres the rundown of attracting hotties:

1.)  You must go out. If you are not going out nothing is gonna happen. Your success is directly correlated with how frequently you head out to an environment where you can meet and talk to women. What helped me a lot here was being socila with everyone: Women AND men. You gotta understand that its OK to introduce yourself to strangers and start a conversation. Simply say, “Hi, my name is ____”, shake hands, and start a conversation. The key is not to expect anything. Just let the conversation flow.

2.) An important thing that I’ve come to understand is that the people who surround you are just as intimidated and insecure as you are. A good way to look at their initial bitchy/aggressive reaction toward you is to recognize that “they may just be nervous, that if I quit the conversation now, is gonna be a lose situation for both, that I need to stick here to help them overcome their fears”.This is where talking to everyone helps. Getting in that social vibing zone is so helpful to attracting beautiful women.

3.)Always remember that if youre in a club, party, or bar, don’t for a second stop interacting with people. Always keep talking. That is the best way to get the ball rolling, and to keep you in a social mood. Thats the type of mood that has led me to attracting beautiful women the same night that I’d meet them. If you’re at a place with darts, a dancefloor, or a pool table, all the better. You can invite the people you meet there to play games/dance.

4.) Go into the place assuming everyone likes you, and they are your friend. Relax as you would with a close group of friends. Forget about trying to impress people. It is much more attractive to be relaxed and “with nothing to prove” in these situations.

5.) This one is a bit ballsy, but it is a huge component to attraction. You should always follow your gut about what you want. Think of what you want to happen in the interaction, and take the right action necessary to make it happen. If you want to talk to a certain girl, do it. If you want to hug her, hug her. Be in the moment (I’ve found that attracting beautiful women has become A LOT easier once I let my body do what it felt like doing). If you want to be alone with her, take her with you, if you want to reward a girl for something she said, do it, if you want to punish her for something she said, do it.

6.) Remember that whatever you’re doing, you’re doing for your self amusement. You have to feel, and believe that you’re your own party. Feel good, and feel great about yourself when you’re socially interacting with people.You are a fun dude, and you’re bringing the fun to the party. The group is not bringing this fun to you. Your fun depends on what you do, not on what the others are saying/doing. Your mindset should be that of, “The coolest thing going on is going on right here with ME”. Even if you’re having a simple conversation, that’s the coolest thing going on at that time. Girls find that extremely attracting. Being so in the zone is highly magnetic.

7.) Speak loud, laugh loud. These are alpha male attraction characteristics 101. Good voice volume draws attention to you right away. Also look into her eyes. Maintaining strong eye contact is important to create attraction, and create rapport with the girl.

8.) Escalate the interaction. Having the above mental attitude pointers to attracting beautiful women, you MUST escalate the interaction. This means initiating physical contact when you feel like you want to touch the girl (in a non-creepy way of course). Escalating is also done by giving her a wide range of emotions. Discussing stuff about sex is great for this:

Have you done a threesome?
Do you like doggy style?
Are you loud in bed?
Does your boyfriend likes to watch?
Have you kissed a girl?

You make the conversation sexual, you are not apologetic about what is it that you want to do or say. Don’t wait for her to show a sign of attraction before escalating. Theres a LOT of girls that are not secure about showing attraction toward a guy because they fear getting shut down. You should escalate regardless. Worst case scenario you two don’t click, and you’re off to find a girl who you can click with.

Return home from attract a beautiful woman guest post by MikeyP

I remember walking through the streets of Vancouver one night. I had just been coming into a new rockstar-level of success.

Just finishing up an intense filming session in LA with Tyler, I was OWNING shit.

As I walked through the moonlit streets with my buddy Gsaad from RSDNation, he asked me a question. “So what is the difference between guys who have sporadic results, and the guys who PULL consistently?”

I hadn’t really thought about it before, and it caught me off guard.

It took me a while, but I realized what it is.

Self Trust.

It really clicked when I went back and looked at all my old field reports, which are on the forum by the way if any of you guys are interested in seeing my progress…

I realized that all the old little lines that I used to do, 2 years ago, all the little hugs and hip bumps, the stupid faces, whatever…. They are all the same now.

I do EXACTLY the same thing.

What is the difference between now and then?

Self trust.

At the time I was doing those things with probably 85% belief. Enough to get some stellar results, but not like now.

Now it is like 98%.

Where does that level of trust and confidence come from?

Talking to girls in 35 countries, going out to the toughest nightclubs 6 days a week for almost 2 years, teaching it, and gaining secondhand reference points from my friends and clients successes as well.

I have MILLIONS of reference points confirming that these laws of attraction we teach at RSD work.

And the thing is, it might not be the best method. But the fact that I believe in it so strongly… Makes it work.

Let’s take a look at why the natural guy, the guy who doesn’t need to study this material, gets the results he does.

It is because most of those guys have MASSIVE blind spots, and they don’t even recognize when things aren’t going their way. Yet somehow their reality wins out and people fall into their frame.

It is like they have this one track playlist in their head on repeat, “I’m the boss. I’m the fucking boss. I’m the fucking boss.”

And anything the girl does, they can just rationalize to reconfirm this.

The girl says, “Fuck you!”

He interprets it as her playing hard to get.

She says, “Your shirt is gay!”

He thinks she is flirting.

And the girl just falls into that frame.

It’s the old social dynamics self fulfilling prophecy.

Now most guys who get into this industry, start studying this whole “success with women” business, because they are on the opposite end.

They are usually HYPER sensitive to the girl’s reactions.

“Oh, does she like me? How’s my body language? How’s my tonality? Did she just turn away? Is this shirt cool? What about my hair?”

A lot of what I do on bootcamp is blow past all these misconceptions that a client might have, and then prove it to him in real life that HE IS ENOUGH!

You need to realize that your head is like a supercomputer. It only has so much mental RAM to determine how to respond or act in a given situation.

If 20% is paying attention to the girls responses, 20% is worried about your body language, 20% is worried about what you are saying, 20% is worried about your tonality, how much mental energy do you have left to actually pay attention to what the girl is saying?

How much of your mental energy can actually be used MOVING THINGS FORWARD?!

Not much.

So again, a big reason that clients have success after bootcamp is because they get an expert to tell them what they are doing wrong… But ultimately it usually is more about what they are doing right!

EVERY PROGRAM I get guys asking about their tonality, how they dress, whatever insecurity they might have and I always respond…

“Dude, if that were an issue, I’d tell you! Stop worrying about it!”

Again, it frees up your mind to actually LISTEN TO THE GIRL!

What a novel concept, active listening, and then you usually don’t run out of things to say because you are actually paying attention to her.

And you can move on to more important trains of thought like what the logistics of the situation are, and what you need to do to escalate/isolate/pull/close properly.

So besides coming on bootcamp and having an expert point out what you are doing right and wrong, how can you develop more self trust on your own?

Well reading all these articles is a start. The brain sees so many continual reinforcements that the RSD method of building attraction is the proper way of doing things, and you really do come to believe it. It is also reinforcing to see other people utilizing the same techniques and succeeding as well.

But ultimately it is the experience of YOU getting out there and actually putting the concepts into practice, realizing that nothing special is needed to get that girl. You can just “Be yourself”. As vague as that sound, any guy leaving my bootcamp knows EXACTLY what that means.

I know EXACTLY what that is for me. And again, it was only after getting out there and doing it countless times that I came to this realization.

Self trust.

Another huge benefit of the lifestyle I live as a pickup coach is that I get continual reinforcement that I am the shit, the RSD method is the shit, and building up that self trust.

How?

World travel.

You start seeing patterns in every new country. You see the overarching scheme of how attraction works, and how it is the same everywhere.

Just last month I was in the Dominican Republic, and whenever I am in a new country there is always a little bit of that self doubt, “Is this going to work here too?!”

But just like in every other country, when at the end of the night you’ve got a girl chasing you down, the best 19 year old I’ve ever kissed actually, and another country to add to the list, it reaffirms that belief.

I am the shit.

“Guys, do girls think that David Bowie is hot?”

They’ll talk about it, or some will remember he’s the guy from Willow.

Then if you can’t transition, you can always say “I was reading Maxim over in the 7/11 (convenience store), and this smoking hot model was talking all this shit about how she *loved* David Bowie..”, and then build off of that (although I only did this once, and normally use my stock C&F)

Then STACK any other topic/routine afterwards, and you are IN.

Also, you can do it in a low-key street approach pua opener, by just asking quietly, as if you were having a personal thought for the day or something..

No comments from people who are actually too scared to talk to girls, and don’t like the theory behind it.. Just go try it, I guarantee it will open – it was field tested all night to 100% open, and there were closes from it as well.
StrongBad’s variation

Because my little sister has this big poster of David Bowie up on her wall. Now David Bowie is an old man. He’s OLD!!! Do girls think that OLD MEN are hot???
Tyler’s variation

Hey guys, I need a female opinion. Do girls think the rock star David Bowie is hot?

(blah, blah, blah)

Get this… my roommate’s little sister, she’s 7 and half years old, has a HUGE picture of David Bowie on her wall. I’m not talking an 8×10; I’m talking a 4-foot by 6-foot POSTER! It’s like the first thing she sees when she wakes up in the morning.

David Bowie is a freaky looking OLD MAN! She’s like 7 and he’s like 70. I’m seriously worried about my roommate’s little sister…

Get back to Best Dating Manual.com from pua opener.

As a moderator on the RSDNation forum, I am constantly deleting threads with some variation of “I know looks matter!”

Now, I think it could be a worthwhile debate, but history proves the opposite. It just turns into heated nonsense, and RSD Headquarters and the moderation team have decided that it is just better to delete any of the looks discussion threads before they inevitably get out of hand.

Now, since I have my own little platform here, I’ll give you my viewpoint. And there is nothing you can do about it. Hehe.

The big problem that guys have with this whole looks/money/success concept is that they aren’t even asking a proper question.

Do looks matter?

For WHAT?!

Do looks matter for kissing a girl? For taking a shit? For making it rain?

Ask a proper question and things change a bit.

The question that I think most guys want to know is:

Do looks and/or money matter for building female ATTRACTION?

Alright, that changes things a little bit.

And on the most fundamental level, on par with the Blueprint, the answer is

NO!!!!

But looks/money convey certain qualities about a guy that are attractive to a girl. And that, from a superficial level confuses guys.

How do looks and money come into play when building female attraction?

Well first we need to rehash what causes attraction.

VALUE!!!

Again, so the more high value you are, the more attractive you will be.

And again, women value things differently than men.

Men value how a girl looks, girls value ACTION! A MAN OF ACTION! ALPHA! LEADER! CONFIDENCE! DOMINANCE! GRAWRRR!!!

The high value guy is the one taking action, he is the natural leader, not afraid to make a mistake, not giving a fuck what others think of him and getting shit done.

So lets look a little more intensely into this man of action thingy.

How do looks and money convey that you are a man of action?

As much as a girl appreciates security, and a man who can provide for her, that is not the primary reason she may respond more positively to a guy that has money.

It is the fact that he is successful, that is why she is attracted to him. This presupposes that he is a man of action, in whatever arena of his life.

If he takes action in his career, he will probably be just as successful at being a husband, a father, a friend, whatever is necessary.

This applies to the looks debate as well. It is not so much that she sees you wearing a nice shirt and is like, “Oooh, he looks hot.” She sees that you can afford nice clothes, meaning you aren’t just sitting on your ass and cleaning up garbage for a living.

With that, another reason why looks can affect the female’s perspective of you is if you are overweight. If she only has your physical appearance to determine if you are a high value leader of men/man of action, who would look more like that guy? A fat guy, or a ripped dude with the six pack abs?

Well it’s pretty obvious that in this very superficial attribute, the ripped dude is taking action in the gym, and the fat dude is not. And hey, if that is all the girl initially has to work off of, of course it is going to be easier for the ripped dude to build that attraction with her

But guys see these sort of scenarios in the field and they use blanket statements like “Ripped dudes get all the girls! HAHA! I just know it!!”

And that just isn’t the case. I’ve literally proved it to myself by going out, not showering for 2-3 days and growing out my mustache to see if I can still have success pulling girls.

And I have.

I’ve been on program with Alex~ where he wore the same shirt 4 days in a row and was still pulling crazy ass even though he looked pretty haggard. ;)

You can EASILY overpower these hindrances, a guy that eats cheetos all day and watches t.v. can go out and pickup the hottest girl in the club.

But this leads to the discussion that Ryan talks about in one of his articles about cognitive dissonance.

Does it really make sense to be the guy that is lazy all day and then get out to the club and be all “Yeah dude, I’m a high value man of action! If a girl enters my life, she is WINNING!”?

If you are delusional, or just hit up the clubs enough you can overpower those internal self doubts, but don’t think they go away.

It really just doesn’t make sense. The whole reason why women are drawn to confidence is because in the caveman days it was a sign that you had something going on for you, there was something tangible to back it up.

Now we have realized, through all this nerd work and going out for countless hours that you don’t need to be a CEO with all the money in the world, or the good looking dude, but why stack the cards against yourself?

Build a well rounded life, work hard, play hard, hit the gym hard… They all go hand in hand towards being congruent with the whole confidence/self-esteem gig.

And take care of yourself when you hit the club. If you see me out in a club, I’m probably going to be wearing some rock star black shirt and a chunky watch of sorts.

Do I think it directly gets me girls? No. But it does convey that I take care of myself, that I am not just some slob who throws on whatever. And it shows that I can afford a cool watch or something, which shows I probably am doing well in my career too. It’s also good for the little self-esteem boost that Tyler talks about in the Blueprint, you just feel damn good wearing some new sweet gear.

But I know that is for myself, not for the girl.

I agree with this for the most part. It definitely applies 100% if you’re at a stage of your life where you’re dating, and not necessarily “looking for someone to marry”. Many women that I’ve talked to will look at a dudes financial stability before they marry him no matter how good his game is. But if you’re just going out to clubs to get laid the above article is applicable 100% WOO!

Return home to bestdatingmanual.com

Peter now has the attention of the entire table. He moves his head from far left to far right in a sweeping gesture that’s so slow it makes me think he’s totally forgotten what the fuck he was talking about. After making sure everyone is silent, he adds, “…then…when she finally say those three words. When she finally say, ‘I love you’. YOU TURN THAT BITCH OVER AND YOU FUCKING PUNISH HER FOR ALL THE BULLSHIT SHE PUT YOU THROUGH!!!”

Peter is a scary meathead who talks to trees, wears Zubas and is about to go to jail for double homicide. He’s also kind of right. The best way to get the girl you like is to be laid-back and casual, then, once you have her, be a Russian mobster. That’s easier said than done. Picking up chicks is hard. All women have to do to get laid is say “yes” and lie down. Even fat girls can do well if they put on high heels and wait until last call. Blacks get to fuck whomever they want and if they go to Scotland they get laid even more than that. Gays and lesbians get so laid they’re already bored with it. But what about the other 2.98756 billion of us? How do we get laid? Read on, motherfucker…

FUN GUY
The problem with really wanting to get laid is you look like someone who really wants to get laid. The horny you is like the marketing head in How to Get Ahead in Advertising. You have to deny him or he will kill you. Instead of worrying about who is going to fuck you, just go out and be gregarious guy. “Hey, what’s your name? Oh, Mark? How’s it going, Mark? I’m Chris. Who’s this?” “I’m Julie.” “Hey Julie. Do you guys want some Percodan?” We know you want to fuck Julie. We all want to fuck Julie. Just don’t admit it to anyone. Not even to yourself. Even if a close female friend, one you trust, asks if you want to fuck Julie, make a joke like, “I want to fuck MARK, don’t you? Meow!” Nobody needs to know you have a penis. Of course, you have to be careful with this kind of attitude and not be too faggy. Throw in a few “That’s nobody’s business but my own” and maybe protect one or two girls from those wasted geriatric Polish guys that are always hanging around. You need to establish that you are not a pussy and you need to make sure you don’t slip into the friend zone (more on that later). If you’re really outgoing and pals-y, you should have a ton of numbers and email addresses at the end of the night. Throw the dude ones in the garbage.

FUN GUY: PHASE TWO
You shouldn’t take a girl out on a date until you’ve fucked her at least once. Before any kind of dating scenario you have to extend your fun-guy phase just a little bit longer. That means if you want to see her again you call her from somewhere really fun and basically invite her to a party like she’s one of the guys. “Hey, what’s going on, it’s me, Red Pants [an allusion to a previous inside joke you guys have]. We’re all at DaVinci’s and it’s pretty fun. Some wasted old lady is dancing naked on the bar and everyone from the Shit Biscuit is here. On a 1 to 10 fun scale I’d give it an 8.2 [she laughs]. From now on I’ll only call you when it’s an 8 or over. I’ll be your fun spy. Anyway, it’s at 360 1st Avenue. See you there.”

Now don’t call her again, you fucking anus! Don’t call her at 4 AM asking her why she didn’t show. You’re fun guy. You’re not Heavy Vibes Guy. Remember what the Russian said. Also, the odds are she just came out of a shitty and serious relationship and the last thing she needs is more drunk questions on her answering machine at dawn. You can only call a girl 1.5 times more than she calls you.

BILL MURRAY IN ‘STRIPES’
Fuck Cool J. He’s a fucking cheeseball. Ladies Love BM. Remember when he lifts her up on to the stove and then starts jabbing her bum with a spatula? No woman on earth can resist that. It’s the best of all worlds. He is strong and funny and weird, but also kind of a lovable fuck-up. If you’re coming fresh out of the gate and you’re looking for somewhere to start, this character (I think his name was Winger) is you.

HANGING BY A THREAD
Calling a girl over 1.5 times more than she calls you makes you look desperate (by the way, never use the word “desperate” in any context whatsoever. Don’t say you are “desperate to get that vintage Samhain deck” or anything. The word has a heavy hex on it). If you have reached out to a girl you like and after a few days it becomes clear it’s going nowhere, here’s a good last-ditch-effort text message: “I guess that’s it then. I’m moving out. What the fuck are we going to do about the cats?” Showing that you don’t really care about her not digging you is often all it takes to get her back.

TOOTS AND THE MAYTALS
Know that when you finally do get her alone and into a date scenario you are going to be farting your fucking ass off. There’s something about the adrenaline rush first dates give you that makes your bowels go bananas. Bring matches. When you feel one of them coming on go to the bathroom, open up your cheeks, and let it silently blow out. Then light a match.

If she ends up sleeping over you are probably going to have a monstrous shit the next day (it took a lot of booze and drugs to pull this off) so have the matches ready for that too.

If you really want this to go well, we can’t say enough about Beano. Free samples are pretty easy to get online and they are a fart’s worst enemy.

DATE PACK
You should get a lot of other stuff too. You should get a whole date pack together. Like: Beano, matches, coke (more later), Viagra (again, later), Adderall (lates), and two Maxx condoms. But be warned! There is a weird curse on guys who go out at night with condoms. For some reason a girl can smell the rubber and know that you fully intend to put your penis in her vagina and go in and out and in and out. It might be best to avoid the hex and just throw them out of your date pack. Sometimes getting venereal warts is worth it. Besides, if she’s really against having sex without a condom you can just do oral stuff, which is what God intended for first-timers anyway.

TALKING, LAUGHING, FUCKING
We’ve told you this a million times before: You don’t talk, you don’t fuck. You have to keep chatting from the first moment you meet her until she’s lying naked in bed next to you. Don’t come up for air. It doesn’t even matter what you talk about—do observational Seinfeld shit like, “Man, have you ever tried the grape drink at that pizza place on 1st and Saint Mark’s? It’s like a grape EXPLOSION. Now I know what the soldiers in Iraq are going through. Only in grape.” On and on, yadda yadda. Be as crazy as you want to be, but have a few serious bombs so she’s knows you’re not totally fucked in the head. Like if Iraq comes up you could say, “I just hate that there’s no real open discourse about the pros and cons of it. Nobody’s willing to stop screaming ‘Hitler’ and ‘Satan’ and calmly discuss it. Like I’ve heard some really informed people call it ‘the right war fought the wrong way.’ Why can’t that angle be discussed?” Then it’s back to crazy guy (holy fuck are you ever deep).

QUIET GUY
In high school it kind of works to be the standoffish silent type that nobody can figure out. You could even make up some bullshit about being “celibate.” When you’re celibate you’re basically Judd Nelson from Breakfast Club meets Ally Sheedy from Breakfast Club. You’ve been through a lot that you don’t want to talk about, you’re pretty intense AND you don’t have AIDS. Saying “Leave me alone” is great for attention in high school because it’s confined quarters and you’re always in everyone’s face.

BUT DO NOT TRY THIS AFTER HIGH SCHOOL! There’s too much other stuff going on for people to give a shit if you want to be left alone. They’re all, “OK cool, see ya!” and there you are, literally alone.

BIG WORDS
It’s good to know about four or five 50-cent words you can stuff into a conversation so you sound well read. Don’t fuck them up the way black people do, but don’t overuse them either. We recommend putting your fancy word next to a swear. Here are some examples: “…so she walks in all precocious like we give a shit,” or “…and it’s the same old pedantic bullshit he’s always going on about,” or “She’s got this big fucking turgid zit right in the center of her face.” When people seem baffled by your big word, pretend you don’t understand what they’re talking about (you read so much you can’t tell the easy words from the hard words).
Oh, I forgot to mention this. Don’t talk about weird shit. Keep it light. If you have this memory where you saw a dragonfly eating its own eyes, keep it to yourself. In case you didn’t know, that’s what murdering rapists talk about too.

FUCK A 5
If it’s been more than say, two months, go fuck a fatty. You need to get the ball rolling again and having sex with an ugly girl is the best way to do that. It gets your confidence up and it gets that horrible reek of desperation off you. Besides, fucking a 5 is way more fun than fucking a 10 because you’re totally relaxed and can do whatever you want.

THE FRIEND ZONE
This phenomenon was discovered by a funnyman named Chris Rock. You become so laid-back, you’re basically Ducky from Pretty in Pink. This blows. If you are a funny person you should be especially careful of this. You can make them laugh their heads off all you want, and I know we told you to not appear horny, but at least throw in a few “I like you more than a friend” vibes. One trick is to be totally honest about how mind-blowingly hot she is. You stop yourself mid-funny-anecdote and go, “Fuck, you’re so pretty I keep getting distracted. I don’t think I can look at you and tell this story at the same time.” Then tell the rest of the story looking over her ear, like if you were blind. That is both funny and shows you’re not Ducky.

HOW TO BE FUNNY
You don’t have to be Gallagher to be funny. The funniest shit is just being totally honest. Like “Do you ever feel uncomfortable in places like this? Everyone seems so put together. What are you supposed to do with your arms if you don’t smoke? Can you imagine how relaxed people with no arms must be? I wish I had no arms.” Saying totally honest and humbling stuff like this is literally funny because it’s true. It also shows you are ballsy enough to not give a shit what people think of you.

HORNY DUDE
Completely abandoning friendly guy is some really risky shit, but it’s one of the greatest places to be in pick-up land. This is usually only possible when you’ve heard that she likes you AND you’re feeling more “on” than you’ve ever been. That’s when you can say things like “I would ruin your life. I would take you home and walk you over to the bedroom by your hair. Then I would spank your ass so fucking hard it would feel like it was on fire. Then I’d lick your pussy so fucking slow you’d get a stomachache.”

Shit, I’m making myself horny. Being this on happens rarely, and if she’s ready to hear shit like this she’s already totally sold on you. The reason we’ve included “horny dude” here is so you know he is the antidote to Ducky. Use him VERY sparingly or become another cold-call creep.

THE COLD CALL
The problem with this is the message you’re sending just by doing it. When you walk up to a stranger in a bar and say hello, what you’re really saying is, “All I know about you is that you’re attractive but that’s enough for me to want to start a relationship. My priorities are, ‘Is she hot?’ and then I go from there.”
Those are what everyone’s priorities are but you’re not supposed to admit it. Can’t you at least wait until there’s some kind of eye contact? I don’t know what advice to give you cold-call guys. Frankly, I think you’re all a bunch of assholes. It’s creeps like you that have made it so hard for the rest of us to get anywhere.

THE DREAM TRICK
If you’re into a girl and you’re not sure if she’s into you, a great way to carefully gauge what’s going on is to pretend you had a dream about her. When you see her you go, “Holy shit, I just remembered something. I had a dream about you last night.” If she recoils in horror you can back off by saying something like, “We were fighting this giant fireman that looked like that Iron Maiden guy. I think Riddick was there—weird.” She’ll say, “Ooooh kaaaye” and you will just shrug your shoulders, shake your head, and in a “Dreams, what will they think of next?” kind of a way go back to your desk.

If, however, she seems interested, you can go kind of close to sex. Don’t say she was blowing you all night and cumming from it but maybe you could say, “I think we were married and we had quintuplets or something. I can’t remember.” The beauty of the dream trick is it’s you saying “I might like you” without putting your ego on the line. If she’s disgusted it’s not your fault. It’s the dream’s.

THE RESEARCH METHOD
As you get older your feelings become more and more fragile. That’s because your character gets bigger every year. When you’re 20 you’re basically a fag. You can just go up to anyone and say, “You’re hot, wanna make out?” without giving one-tenth of a shit what they say. As you get older, saying, “I have become very attracted to you” is like lying on the road with your intestines hanging out and saying, “Please [sob] have mercy on me.” A good way to get around that is research. Do you know any of her friends? Can you trust them? As we said in our “Ode to the Fat Friend” article, an ally on the other side is worth a thousand good lines. (Who fucking uses “lines” these days anyway? Do you really want to fuck a girl who believes in astrology?)

THE FIX UP
Speaking of research, if you can find an OK-looking girl who wants to be your friend, has no interest in you, and isn’t hurt that you have no interest in her (rarer than you think), get her to do your research. You can find out if the girl is single, when she last had sex, how long her previous relationship was, why they broke up, does she drink, etc. The list goes on. Going in well prepared is almost as good as going in not ugly. Even if you get caught you’re fine because at least the girl knows you’re friends with girls. Murdering rapists are not friends with girls.

MULATTO BABIES
If you are any kind of race at all you’d be stupid not to play the race card. A great mulatto trick is to go up to the white girl and ask her what her parents would think about you two going out. Girls love the idea of torturing their Archie Bunker fathers and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t get your cut of that.

Also, if you’re sitting down at the bar, put your hand near hers and JOKINGLY (remember comedy is crucial in scenarios like this) ask her what “our” babies are going to look like. Everyone knows mixed races are the best-looking kids around so it’s good to plant those seeds in the back of her head.

EMAIL
This is the ideal way to court. She’s sitting there, bored at work, hating on her friends, and wondering if anyone really cares about her. Then—dananalalaing—new message. “Hey, have you seen this guy who holds cuddle parties? What a fucking loser. He wants to create a ‘safe space’ for people to touch each other’s bodies. Can you say ‘faggoty nonsense?’”

Or maybe something less harsh. That’s the beauty of email. You can spend hours and hours perfectly honing your message to be exactly what she needs to hear.

THE “MUST HAVE HER” CHANT
Remember last year when we told you that you have to beat off about the girl you want because a) it tricks your brain into thinking you’ve already fucked her and b) it sends magical wank vibes out into the cosmos that she unconsciously picks up on? Remember that? Well here’s another one: If you keep repeating “must have her, must have her, must have her” as you walk down the street something magical happens to you. What it does is it summons every part of your brain to focus on the problem at hand. “Is she going to be there on Thursday? OK, I will not go out Wednesday, I will have a good rest, and then I will have approximately three pints before going to the Thursday thing.” These are the kind of complex processes that only a self-hypnotized brain can come up with. Remember, testosterone is a concentration drug.

COKE
Sorry, I know coke has about ten times the stigma trucker hats do, but the truth is it works. Even if you don’t do it yourself it’s really handy to have a plush box sitting under the bed. Inviting a girl home to do coke shows that you’re not just taking her home to blow you. You’re taking her home to play her records and talk about stuff because you like her.

Now, if shit does go down and it’s taken about five lines to get there, you had better have some Viagra handy. It is a fucking breeze to get online and there is absolutely no excuse for not having it ready to go. People who can’t get it up are no longer impotent. They’re stupid.

THE FIRST KISS
This fucking sucks. You’ve got her home and you’re sitting on the couch and you have to go from “ha ha ha” guy to dead-serious face zooming in on hers like a spaceship approaching the mother port. There’re ways to lessen this blow. You can say shit like “Wanna make out?” or other funny stuff, but it’s going to be pretty awkward no matter what you do.

One way around it is to have been talking about how hot she is all night. That way, of course you want to make out. Doye. You’re Horny Dude and you’ve been going on about her lips since you met her. But still, if she turns away and you’re left with her ear in your eyes it’s pretty fucking embarrassing. All we can say is muster up some balls and just go for it.

If she pulls away, your only way out is to make a joke about it. Say something like, “Oooh kaye, that didn’t go so well. All rightie then. Let’s do both of us a favor and just get into a time machine and go back to before I did that.” Or something as simple as, “Okay, misread the signals, moving on, pretending nothing happened, going to get beer now, will get you one.” Something gay and sitcom-y like the guy in King of Queens. Don’t worry about the delivery, you just have to get out of that scene not looking desperate. She might have turned away because she’s not ready or maybe she feels some oral herpes coming through or maybe she’s not quite finished breaking up with her boyfriend. Freaking out about this blows all those other options, so take it easy. Just keep the night moving. Don’t go for it again for the rest of the night and when she wants to leave be all “OK, cool. I’ll call you later.”

THE FIRST BOFF
There’s a lot of pressure on this sucker. You have to have a rock-hard wood. You have to last a long time. And you have to blow her mind. Besides the obvious coke and Viagra combo nothing turns you into a black man better than Adderall. It makes your dick into a fucking battle-ax. (It also makes you want to fanatically eat her ass, so you might want to avoid it if she’s a square.) The rest of our advice is the usual. Once you have the go-ahead, do everything short of rape and almost scare the shit out of her.

EATING OUT
For some shitty reason a lot of girls don’t want to be eaten out the first time you’re with them. Great, that’s how you get riled up. Now you have to hit the ground running. If oral foreplay looks like it isn’t going to happen, you can spend your intro time choosing high heels for her to wear, putting her arms behind her back, and just generally checking her out. I can’t get into any more detail here because I’m getting a boner at work and that is not on.

PAIR AND A SPARE
The secret to getting laid is to always have three on the go. Focusing on one girl is what they did in the 1940s. You are about carpet bombing the city with cock. If you throw enough shit against the wall something’s got to stick. The only way a single guy can get laid as much as a relationship dude is to have a harem. Some like to have five on the go at once. Others think that’s more stress than it’s worth. You don’t want to be a juggler at a mad carnival, so stick with three, a pair and a spare. You have the two you’re torn up about and then you have the plan C who likes you too much. That way, when you get rejected by one you can hop down to two and if things are looking really bad, you can sink down to your last resort for some comfort food. This takes the desperation out of your voice and makes you seem calm, smooth, and reliable.

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Passing A Woman’s Tests:

First, you need to understand that women will constantly test you to see if you’re high value enough to hook up with them. If you approach them looking confident, they will want to test you to see if you really are that confident dude that you’re portraying. This should be viewed as a good thing. If she would not be into you, then she’d simply walk away and not talk to you. Her tests are a great opportunity to get crazy amounts of attraction.

Every time you pass a test that she throws at you, her subconscious is thinking, “damn, this guy passed another test with flying colours, he must be high-value. I should hook up with him”. Here are the top ways to pass her tests:

1.) Stay unreactive.

This is huge. Girls like a man who is in control of himself. If he cannot control himself than he will not be able to control her. When she tests you by saying something like, “why are you even talking to me?”, or “you’re too short” you have to stay completely cool. You need to have 100% belief in yourself. Comments like that should not affect your mood at all because you know that you’re a high-value man. Also remember: Whoever is reacting more in the interaction tends to be the lower value person. This is because being non-reactive = being in control.

2.) Maintain your attitude.

Apart from not showing any emotional reaction to her tests, you also need to maintain the same intensity in the approach that you were showing earlier. If she tests you and that causes you to take your game a few notches down, you’re showing her that the test demoralized you. You basically need to keep up the same level of intensity, and the same level of energy before the test, and after her test. Otherwise, you’ll fail her congruence test.

3.) Use humour to diffuse situation

Act unapologetically to her test. Basically say whatever you’d say if you were 100% honest with some humour thrown in. A sample interaction is here (Credit Brad RSD):

HER: Is that your pickup line?

ME: Yeah, did it work?

HER: Why are you talking to me?

ME: Because I think you are hot.

HER: What do you want?

ME: You.

Another response is to ignore her test. Basically say something random that shows her that her tests don’t affect you. You’re not even acknowledging the fact that she’s testing you-you’re simply carrying forward with the pick up.

HER: Why are you talking to me?

ME: Yeah, I can’t believe what just happened in the bathroom…

You just don’t even recognize she was trying to fuck with you and keep moving forward.

This leads to one of my favorite responses whenever I get any shit test:

HER: Nice shirt.

ME: Thanks.

HER: I’m sorry you are too short for me.

ME: Thanks.

HER: I’m sorry you are too old for me.

ME: Thanks.

Your attitude is that the test is so outside of your reality that it did not register at all. You’re simply carrying on with business as usual. A third way to passing a woman’s tests is answering the question you wish she had asked.

HER: Are you trying to pick me up?

ME: No, I had pizza for lunch.

HER: What do you want?

ME: No, I will not makeout with you!

ME: Give me your number.

HER: Sure, I’ll give you my number, just like the 20 other numbers you got tonight.

ME: Oh, OK, well I don’t really need your number we could just go fuck in the bathroom right now.

The last way to pass a test is to over exaggerate. You’re taking what she said and blowing it way out of proportion. This is a tricky one because if you push it too far you will pass her test. But just like the ones I mentioned above, it can be very good with some practice.

HER: You are just trying to have sex with me.

ME: No, actually, I am celibate. I’ve been hurt too many times, and please don’t try to take advantage of me, I’m a shattered vulnerable child. And sex is gross anyways.

So to summarize:

The fact that she’s testing you is good. It means that she cares enough to see if you’re the cool dude who will have sex with her tonight. Passing a woman’s tests will cause massive spikes in attraction, and will make her really into you! So, have fun with it, and try the above methods to see which you like using best.

Return to Best Dating Manual from passing a woman’s tests.

When it comes to escalating sexually, you have to take the lead. This has been decided long ago on a biological level. Women are more submissive, so you need to have the balls to be dominant, and lead the interaction. One reason for this is because the woman does NOT want to look like a slut. Initiating sex would make her look like one, so that’s the furthest thing from what she wants to do. The last thing she wants is to be perceived negatively by her friends.

For you to get laid, you need to make the woman feel comfortable enough to sleep with you without any fear of consequences for her. A key point to make this happen is by being/appearing the sex worthy guy who gets lots of sex all the time. If you have a type of attitude where hooking up is a common thing to do she will feel more comfortable as well. Comfort is an important element in the psychology of attraction.

I’ve picked up a bunch of girls at clubs using this mindset. Concentrate on leading, and subtly making her think that she can have sex with you with no consequences. Women crave sex more than guys do (I know this from experience). They would love to have sex with an alpha male with no strings attached. The most important thing for you to do is to convey that you are that alpha male.

Have you ever been on vacation and witnessed how everyone with a bit of game hooks up? That’s because there’s no accountability. The women are not going to be labeled as sluts, so they drop their social anxiety and do what they truly want to do. You can achieve the same result as this by being a sex-worthy alpha male. That’s power!

Another important tip from a psychology of attraction perspective is to make her feel lots of good emotions. Make sure she’s feeling a range of emotions while she is with you. This means teasing her, complimenting her, being hot/cold, telling her interesting/compelling stories about yourself, etc. That will make her really interested in you. Women aren’t interested in guys on a logical level. They are highly emotional, and require a wide range of emotions to make them feel interested.

So to summarize:

The psychology of attraction key components are:

1.) Lead the interaction
2.) Make her feel comfortable
3.) Sub-communicate that sex is normal
4.) Get a range of emotions from her

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Your base for online dating is your profile, the first message that you send, and your pictures. If any of those is weak your online dating experience will be hindered. It’s a chain reaction that needs to be solid throughout. Also, I’ll be posting a bunch of dating profile advice tips in the next few weeks about messages, pictures, etc (basically all of the necessary components to a successful online dating experience).

Ok, so here are the most important lessons that I’ve learned for dating profile advice:

Having a good profile is KEY. If it sucks, girls will not respond well no matter how good your pictures or messages are. The most important piece of advice I can give you is to test and test again. The profile that I use now has been changed over 15 times before arriving at the current state that it is in. I want to stress that you need to have a good profile, and that spending some time on it is very important. Start with the basics, and make slight changes to it to see if the response rate for the messages that you’re sending improves or not.

Make sure your profile stands out. It has to be unique, and show her why she should message you as opposed to the 234234 other guys on the dating website.

A shorter read is generally better. I’ve had the best results with a profile in the 250-350 words range. That is usually more than enough to convey all you need to convey. Your profile should highlight your best characteristics (Demonstrations of Higher Value-DHV). And throw a couple of things that make you look human. You need to talk about your most positive qualities while at the same time throwing a coupe of “slight negatives” (i.e. showing sensitive side) to make sure it doesn’t appear too good to be true. On a completely unrelated note, GPS for cars is an awesome resource for GPS systems.

These “negatives” should be things that will make a girl MORE attracted to you. For example, mentioning that there’s movies you cried in, that your family is really important to you, or some other sensitive side of yours.

I like to throw in some qualifiers as well. For example, I’ll mention the following:

Living with different cultures is really cool, and I’ve lived in South Africa, and El Salvador” then ask the girl ”are you a person that likes to travel? ;) “. This is good because it sets up a screening frame to the interaction. You’re stating that you are interested in a certain type of woman, and that she’ll have to meet your standards in order for you to hook up with her. Also, an important dating profile advice is to make sure your profile is as close as possible to being 100% honest!

Another qualifier is, “I’m really fit and love to play sports. If you’re someone that likes to stay active, that’s a big plus =) ”. I use that one a lot because it relates to me. The best way to qualify is to use a characteristic that a girl needs to have in order for you to think of her as “girlfriend material”. Qualifiers are a really important part of any dating profile advice.

Make sure to mention that you’re looking for personality as well as looks. This is especially important at hooking up with girls that are a little insecure. For example, I like to say in the profile, “I’m looking for someone with great energy who has more going for them than just their looks”. That’s a line that will get you lots of 7s and 8s really interested. It will also show the 9s and 10s that you care about personality. Its really a win-win thing to use.

Make sure that you mention enough DHV (demonstrations of higher value), qualifiers, sensitive side, and that you care about something other than looks in your profile. That’s the basic cookie-cutter formula that has worked very well for me. Make sure to sprinkle in some humor to let the girl know that you don’t take things too seriously.

A good dating profile advice tip is listing a bunch of interests. Many of the searches look at interests as a way to rank your potential matches. To add to that, you can also take some of the different personality tests that the sites provide. I don’t think that the tests say anything too realistic, but many of the girls really look into those and may message you just based on the test result. So they can increase your chances nicely.

Dating profile advice example #1:

Since all the profiles on here are practically the same, here’s what i’m not:

The first thing you’ll notice about my profile is that I have my shirt on in every single one of my pics. Shocking isn’t it??!! I also don’t have any pics of me posing like a real weiner next to my car- seriously who cares what I drive?!

Go on…

I don’t wear my hat sideways, or backwards, and yes there’s a curve on the brim of my hat.
I don’t pop my collar.
I don’t wear man bling.
I won’t take longer than you to get ready.
I don’t seriously say words like “G”, “boo”, “yo”, or end any of my words with a “z”.

What I have…

I have wicked fun job, and a great life. I lead an active lifestyle, and I’m a lot of fun to be around. I think family and friends are really important, and I’m highly passionate about those relationships. I’m looking for a girl that can hold her own in a conversation, and has something going for her other than great looks.

That’s a good way to spin the fact that many dating sites have a ton of guys that are douchebags. Its also a perfect way to stand out from the crowd, and be unique. Plus it has DHVs of a fun job (which the profile doesn’t state–that makes the girl message me to find out more), a great life, and an active lifestyle. There’s the added bit about the qualifier at the end. And the profile is short and to the point. Some dating profile advice that could have made it better would be to include more information about who he is. Some girls will want to know more before they send that first message.

Dating profile advice example #2:

I’m a pretty down to earth guy. I’m currently in college taking business and have quite a few goals I’m looking to accomplish in my life. I think that its important to stay focused on the things you want to achieve, and I find focused, amitious women sexy =) I’m pretty relaxed and enjoy hanging out with my buddies and having a good laugh.

I’m a country boy – love dogs and the outdoors. There’s nothing like being outside having fun!

Enjoy going to the gym- gives me a place to focus my attention. A secret side of mine is that I actually enjoy cooking, and watch the food network for recipe ideas all the time :P

I enjoy going out but I’m not a huge bar guy- worked at a few bars and it’s just not my first choice of entertainment. I’d much prefer to go for coffee or tea with some stimulating conversation. Best way to get to know someone if you’re meeting for the first time ;)

I’m straight forward and don’t like head games. I’m just a mature guy and that stuff really doesn’t interest me. I have traveled a lot when I was younger, and am really grateful for the life experience that living in 3rd world countries has given me. I feel like I have a lot to give, and love volunteering in my spare time.

This is another pretty good profile. Short, sweet, to the point. Shows DHV’s of working at bars (bad boy), well traveled, a softer side (loves to cook), and ambition (in school, and have big goals lined up for the future). You guys can borrow ideas from the above, but I’d recommend having a profile that is unique, and speaks about YOU. A dating profile advice tip for this profile would be to experiment with adding info, or taking away info to see if that affects the response ratio of your messages.

I’ll have another couple of posts that will be specifically about dating profile advice topics like writing messages and selecting the right pictures.

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To get great results you need to do things that others aren’t doing. Here are the top body language attraction tips that you have to follow. If you choose to ignore these body language mistakes, you will be subcommunicating neediness, and that you’re not a sex-worthy guy:

Top 8 Body Language Attraction Tips:

1.) Speaking too fast. This is a biggie, and something I used to do all the time. People who speak too fast sound like they are trying to “get it all out” before they lose the other person’s attention. It gives off an anxious, low self-confidence vibe that kills attraction. Alpha males speak slowly, and with confidence. Everything that an alpha male says is important, and meaningful.

2.) Touching your face when you talk. It subcommunicates nervousness, that you’re indecisive, or that you’re shy. Avoid it all together. This is another thing I used to do often until I realized how much it was hurting my game. Keep your hands in a relaxed position (and make sure not to fiddle with them while you’re speaking to someone else).

3.) Looking down. A body language attraction point that screams, “I’m NOT dominant”. When you look down while someone is talking to you, you’re basically telling them that they are more dominant than you are. Don’t give your power away. Maintain strong eye contact instead. Choose one eye to look at, and do it. This was one of the body language attraction mistakes that has held me down most before I corrected it.

4.) Eye contact. Something really important. A lot of guys are scared to do this, but I’ve found that it is HUGE in creating attraction. Don’t stare at the girl creepily, but do maintain strong eye contact. If you want to go for the kiss looking from eye-to-eye to her lips is a good way to do it. Once you see her look at your lips, or when you see her lips move, go in for the kiss. Works like a charm.

5.) Using “ah” and “um”. People that use these often are trying to prevent others from interrupting them. If you’re an alpha male, you know that others won’t interrupt you. That’s why avoiding those little partial words is key. It will make you sound more confident and determined.

6.) Slouching. This is a huge no-no. Have a comfortable body language that says, “I’m comfortable, and feel good inside”. Slouching says, “I’m weak, and don’t feel good about myself”. If you do this regularly, make sure to change it right now. Slouching is probably the most unattractive thing on this list. Don’t stand too straight, but do have your shoulders back, and your back in an upright position. Check out Brad Pitt in any of his movies for an idea of what this looks like. He’s a guy that is always portraying great body language attraction.

7.) Being afraid to initiate physical contact with a girl. You need to be able to touch a woman if you want to have sex with her. In fact, if you leave off touching till the end it will make her more uncomfortable. You gotta feel relaxed, and be able to touch her at will. Make it effortless and natural. Tap the side of her arm when you’re talking, and don’t be afraid to put your arm around her for a bit if you’re walking side by side.

8.) Turning your head fast when someone wants your attention. Do give them your attention, but don’t do it right away as if you’re at their command.

These are the top 8 body language attraction tips that I’ve used in order to get as much as I could from my non-verbal subcommunication with women. I highly recommend that you review the list, and make sure to correct any of the mistakes that you find yourself doing.

Return to Best Dating Manual.